Even Super Heroes Need A Place To Call Home


This is a story about my super heroes going from being homeless and living under a street light (..lamp) to living in a mansion.

Action Figure Blog

BUT….That situation was much better than this option.

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My action figures weren’t about to move into this. Well….Maybe if they get married and their wife makes them (Sorry Wonder Woman!). For now, they are single and allowed to make their own decisions. They needed a cool lair to call their own.

So…with some old Ikea storage units, wood, dad’s handyman skills and lots of mommy magic…….THIS WAS BORN!!!!!!!

House Start to Finish

It was a process. (…I supervised while playing video games.)

City

Outside Features

Vehicles

Let’s take a look at all the cool spaces.

Inside My Lair

My action figures told me that if they ever get married, they’re keeping this place as a secret. Hey! Secrets and Super Heroes go hand in hand. Don’t judge them!!!!

Anyway…Here’s one last look at my secret lair, in it’s secret location in my room I mean…it’s secret location in the world.

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Breaking News: He got off Scott free!


He was caught at the scene of the crime trying to flush all evidence of Scott.

Crime1

He denied all involvement, but it was clear that he was on something at the time.

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Scott was everywhere, tousled around carelessly like freshly curled hair

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I’ve never seen anything like this before. Clearly there was no remorse.

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But…..We took him to trial…The glove didn’t fit, so we had to acquit.

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(Scott tissue will be in our prays.)

My Day On Social Media


Okay…..Let’s see what’s going on with the internet today.

What? Mommy and her friends are trying to be cool making duck-lip selfies. Old people are crazy!

I can do better.

How you like them duck-lips?

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I just laughed so hard I farted.

“Here’s a list of things you may not know about me.”…..What kind of status is that? If people wanna know things they ask. Someone’s trying too hard.

Oh snap! Miley Cyrus bleached her eyebrows.

HAHAHA….. I’m gonna pee myself. I never knew a daddy ripping up newspaper was so hilarious.That baby is going bonkers.

Oh no she didn’t!

Now how do I make that smiley face thing? I just don’t understand how people make all those crazy symbols. I’m so behind with technology.

What? There’s an event I wasn’t invited to?

I see the pictures! You can’t deny it happened.

And…Why won’t you ever like my Facebook status???

I so hacked my sister’s account. This is gonna be awesome.

And…..

I’m defriending you and you and you….well…I’m blocking you.

Hmmmmm. I might have to rethink my political allegiance.

She’s fixing THAT for dinner??!! YUCK!” I don’t believe for five seconds her kids liked it like she said. Maybe the doggie did.

Where The Wild Things Are (Halloween: Day 32)


I will tell you where they are. They are in my living room, dressed like lions and dancing in circles with girls dressed as fairy princess ballerina something or others.

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They are scary and fierce, especially when they get on their laptops. They may be sending spam, chain letters or worse than that…….boring status updates on Facebook.

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Sometimes, they take off their fur and hide among the regular folks.

“What? You’ve never seen the spoon on the nose trick? I’m not allowed to improvise?”

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BE AWARE: DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS!

Always use your head. Okay…Maybe not always.


BE AWARE:

Just like most kids my age and most dudes of any age, I sometimes put my head in places I probably shouldn’t.

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“Okay. Mommy? Daddy? I told people I did this to myself. Can you please take this kid cone off of my head now? I promise to be good.”

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Three Times A Charm: PreK: Week 3/Day 9


Listen…..I’m not going anywhere until I finish this final scene for the movie I’m making: “Die Hard: The Slow Way” (Sequel #6). At this point…Bruce Willis could just pick his teeth and I’m going to make money.

Day 9 Die Hard Movie

Okay….How is my hair?

Day 9 How is the hair

Uh Oh! It’s those darn steps again.

Mommy! I told you I’m not ready yet.

Day 9 Those darn stairs again

Come on. You know you want to pick me up.

Just because you gave birth to me, doesn’t mean you’re done carrying me around.

Day 9 Pick me up

 

Brought A Girl Home: Preschool (Day 5)


The day started off with me styling for school and turned into a DATE!

A play date. 

Day 5

Okay. I didn’t really bring a girl home.

She’s my wife. (Did we go to Vegas? I think I got married!)

She came to visit. We don’t live together, but we go to school together.

I think that’s plenty. You dudes know what I mean.

Here I am having flashbacks of her driving that bus again and taking my balls.

No respect!

Bus and ball

Not again! I was quick to get my ball back this time.

got my ball back

I told her I had to go do important stuff.

She would have to stay home and take care of the animals.

brought girl home

My important stuff was basketball. Shhhh! Don’t tell.

Steal from imaginary player

Ready for the shot!

1 Ready for shot

It’s up!

2 it's up

It’s in.

3 it is in

UHOH……I can feel her eyes on me.

I think I’m busted.

Busted

She was pretty mad. She threw the dog and left me.

left me

I did what most guys do when their girl leaves them.

I sat down with some snacks and watched TV.

watching tv

I hope she didn’t do anything crazy when she left.

Mom said to watch out for girls who wear animal prints.

behind bars

Collect call from where? Jail?

I’m pretty sure my mommy and daddy wouldn’t want me talking to someone in jail.

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I’ve got your “Dark Passenger” Dexter Morgan.


Rumor has it, one of my mommy’s favorite shows (Dexter) might be ending. Well…..I’m not sure why it’s okay to like someone who does bad things, but he doesn’t have the market on darkness or codes.

I have my own “Dark Passenger” that makes me go a bit mad. If someone eats all my Cheetos, changes my favorite channel, or tells me to go to bed…….well….I’m just saying……things can get ugly. But it’s because of important stuff like I just said, so I have a code too.

AND…..Unlike Dexter, I didn’t muck things up by getting married and having a kid. Well, maybe I did get married that one time (Click here for evidence of my possible nuptials.) Plus, he thinks he’s slick because he’s a blood splatter guy at the police department. BUT….I’m as adorable as heck. Who would ever suspect me?

CHECK OUT MY AUDITION REEL:

He's dead

Do I need a warning label or what?

You knew I’d snap if you touched my snacks.”

Looks good

”Little pieces? I’m seeing why that makes sense now.”

Out of Box

“Holy macaroni. I hope that was a postmortem spasm.”

Trying to Pack it down

“Okay. I’m not allowed to use sharp objects….so….I’ll just have to keep patting him down until all the air comes out. Then he’ll fit.”

You aint see nothing

“Nothing to see here. I’m just taking the trash to the dumpster.”

Anyway…..If you’re listening Showtime, I think you could definitely replace Dexter with a new show. You should call it Justice or Just-Ice. Think about it. My agent’s name is Mommy. She’ll be waiting for your call.