Potty Training: Day 3 (AKA: We’ll see about that!)


“Hey mommy!  I’m smiling at you in a super

cute way and I signed please.”

Potty1

“Can I have some Fritos?” (…still smiling…)

Potty2

“What? I have to go potty first? I mean

toilet. I forgot we were being super fancy

pantsy with more grown up with words.”

Potty3

“When this timer thingy goes off, I’m

staying put. You’ll see.”

Potty4

“Timer thingy just went dingy. Uhhh. I

wonder if mommy remembers.”

Potty5

“Uh oh! Now my talking thingy is saying

Toilet, Toilet. Mommy heard that. I’m not

seeing a way out of this.”

Potty6

“At least I get my iPad. Hey mommy.

How about some me time? Back away from

the toilet.”

Potty7

“Okay. A little bit further.”

Potty8

“That’s better.”

Potty9

“Okay. So what if I went through a few

hundred underpants today. Girls aren’t the

only ones who get to change over and over again.”

Potty10

 

 

It happened last night.


1

(For those who need RED print translated: “Something so tragic happened last night …. I can’t even talk about it )

2

(“Uh … Who told you to take the camera off me? I’m telling a story here.”)

3

(“As I was saying … It’s very emotional.”)

4

(“It started off with Jennie and her Franks. Not these … so don’t try to find this one to do something bad like suffocate it in a blanket and call it dinner for your kid.”)

So….. I was enjoying my time with Frank and then it wasn’t fun anymore. Frank went too far and it was hard to breathe. I started to choke. Mommy tried to help me, but she just wasn’t getting the job done.

5

6

7

8

9

10

First off, don’t ever blame the kid with a disability …. for anything …. ever. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. I’m innocent! Second, If anyone needs to go to save money in this house ….. it ain’t me.

It’s mommy’s fault because she makes my food at the right temperature and doesn’t give me ketchup. All those chemicals are bad for me. Boy….Was she off base? It’s like giving me matches, but not the paper.

It’s Daddy’s fault for not being home and making my lunch. He makes food so hot, I have to take a million tiny slow bites so my mouth doesn’t melt. And …. He gives me so much ketchup, it looks like a crime scene, but it makes the food slide down my throat.

But mostly it’s Daddy’s fault since Mommy always says she’s always right.

 

11

And there’s no way they’ll let me enter any hotdog eating contests. My life is over.

Fooled Into School 3 Weeks Ago


Cool? Spool? Uh….What?

Say What

 

Yeah….School. That’s what it sounded like.

That's What I though

 

No thanks! I’m kind of booked up. I’m hanging with my dog.

Hanging with My Dog

 

I’m running with sticks, but only sharp ones.

Running With SticksI

 

I’m working on my dance moves. You’d be surprised how much fine tuning they need.

Working on my dance moves

 

(Okay…..That did not work.)

Not Sure How To Get Out

 

Plan A: (smile)

 

I'll Use My Smile

 

Plan B: (intimidate)

I'll intimidate

 

Plan C: (heartfelt plea) “Mommy. You already doubled my speech each week and just about quadrupled my OT. Aren’t you worried you might be overworking my fragile self? Plus, you know I’ll miss you. School can’t give hugs like you. And….you’re so pretty, even when you aren’t.”

heartfelt speech

 

Serious?! Three days a week??!! And you’re going to work with me at home too??!! Well…..I take back that pretty part.

not working

 

THEN IT WAS THE MORNING OF THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:

Uh…..So you slept on it and still think it’s a good idea?

serious about school

 

Mommy. My dinosaur might attack you if I’m not home to hold him back.

dinosaur no

 

(None of it worked, so I did what people nowadays seem to do to get what they want. I took my clothes off. ……. Mommy put them back on. I didn’t think that far ahead.)

took off my clothes

 

Breaking News: He got off Scott free!


He was caught at the scene of the crime trying to flush all evidence of Scott.

Crime1

He denied all involvement, but it was clear that he was on something at the time.

Crime2

Scott was everywhere, tousled around carelessly like freshly curled hair

crime3

I’ve never seen anything like this before. Clearly there was no remorse.

crime4

But…..We took him to trial…The glove didn’t fit, so we had to acquit.

crme6

(Scott tissue will be in our prays.)

Everything I know about being a parent to a child with down syndrome….. (Mom took over!)


Here it is:

”          “

I don’t know anything about being a parent to a child with down syndrome. I can’t tell you about parenting: a son with a lazy eye, a daughter with my sarcasm or a son who is an open nerve. BUT…..I do know…..

Beyond food, shelter and clothing, children need love, understanding, patience and guidance. It’s a parent’s job to help their children reach their full potential. Whatever that may be.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!


Okay Chicken….I’m no egg expert, but I’m pretty sure this is crazy big. Are you doing steroids? What are you hiding? What’s happening in that barn? And don’t even think of playing games with me!

chix1

Hey mommy. No. Everything’s fine here. The train? Don’t worry about that. The chicken and me are gonna play a little game on the tracks.

chix2

Don’t even think of clucking at my mommy when she walks away. We can always have chicken soup tonight. Have I made myself clear?

chix3

I’m Back!


Did you miss me? I’ve been gone awhile. Just like with most stuff, it’s mommy’s fault. Maybe daddy’s fault too. I don’t know. It’s not mine. Do you want to hear all about my adventures? Okay….First…

Back1

Oh Shitake Mushroom…..Mommy is making me go to school. Guess you don’t get to hear my stories now. See what I mean. Not my fault!

Back2

Where did I come from?


When your child asks, what do you say?

Birth1

“You’re only talking about the bees ‘cause the bird stuff is too cute?

It’s like going potty, but not really? The hospital?”

Birth2

“You did what? And I come out of…….

STOP! STOP TALKING MOMMY!!!!!!!!”

Birth3

Well…..You LIE!!!!!