He was caught at the scene of the crime trying to flush all evidence of Scott.
He denied all involvement, but it was clear that he was on something at the time.
Scott was everywhere, tousled around carelessly like freshly curled hair
I’ve never seen anything like this before. Clearly there was no remorse.
But…..We took him to trial…The glove didn’t fit, so we had to acquit.
(Scott tissue will be in our prays.)
Okay Chicken….I’m no egg expert, but I’m pretty sure this is crazy big. Are you doing steroids? What are you hiding? What’s happening in that barn? And don’t even think of playing games with me!
Hey mommy. No. Everything’s fine here. The train? Don’t worry about that. The chicken and me are gonna play a little game on the tracks.
Don’t even think of clucking at my mommy when she walks away. We can always have chicken soup tonight. Have I made myself clear?
What is that? Who is here? What do I see?
It’s a strange little boy looking back at me.
Are those pants? Are those legs? Is it a suit?
How do you potty? How do you toot?
You frighten me with your strange lack of parts.
I can’t trust a dude who doesn’t fart.
Sammy: I’ve been thrown and I can’t get up.
I’m not leaving this tree. That kid’s too rough.
I know you missed me. I’m sorry.
We took a break for the stuffy-stuff holidays. You know….the day to stuff your face and then all the stuff that comes after you stuff your face to celebrate getting stuff. And I’m really scared of Fridays now. At least one of them. I didn’t know we had a crazy shopper day. Some traditions are really silly. Mommy and daddy kept me home safe.
Well….You didn’t miss too much.
Here I am taking a pre-nap before I eat my Thanksgiving meal. It must have helped because I was moving fire after I ate. I think mommy called it “hell on wheels”. Whatever!
Then I went outside to play with my shadow.
Then I talked to a tree.
Then I played football with my brother. I let him think he tackled me.
Moving on to some Christmas decorating. I’m helping my sister with the tree. See me making that wood garland dance? I should be a snake charmer.
Okay……Maybe I’m not exactly helping her.
Yeah….I didn’t like where she put that.
Oh my goodness. Are you seeing these powers?
Look at that throw. Look at the garland standing up in the air. I really need to go to Vegas and have my own show.
Looks like it’s back to the business of decorating. She’s so serious.
Wait! Is she judging me? I can feel her eyes on me. Clearly she’s close-minded. Garland can go vertical.
Look at that. Almost perfect.
Oh good. There’s more. I don’t want this spot to look bare.
So……Sorry if you missed me. I’m still in school. I don’t see myself dropping out yet. I still eat, drink, sleep, poop and wreak havoc on my family. But….you might not be seeing my handsome face every day or even every other day. Times are getting crazy and between you and me…I think my mommy is becoming a slacker. Seriously….She stays home….How busy can she be?
So…..Here’s a little taste of what I did yesterday after speech therapy. And my therapy…….I rocked it by the way, saying all kinds of cool things like pop, bubble, ball and beep beep. I also signed the word play.
I know. I know. Don’t hate!
Well…..mommy and daddy took me to play. Here’s a nibble.
I will tell you where they are. They are in my living room, dressed like lions and dancing in circles with girls dressed as fairy princess ballerina something or others.
They are scary and fierce, especially when they get on their laptops. They may be sending spam, chain letters or worse than that…….boring status updates on Facebook.
Sometimes, they take off their fur and hide among the regular folks.
“What? You’ve never seen the spoon on the nose trick? I’m not allowed to improvise?”
BE AWARE: DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS!
Okay…..Is anything in here?
Let me take a closer look.
Holy macaroni!
Where’d those things come from?
BE AWARE: I like to check things out.
Just like a regular dude:
I like to rock out on instruments.
And……Just like a regular dude, I think I sound better than I really do.
Just like a regular dude:
I sometimes play with tools.
And…….Just like a regular dude, I sometimes put my fingers where they don’t belong.
The day started off with me styling for school and turned into a DATE!
A play date.
Okay. I didn’t really bring a girl home.
She’s my wife. (Did we go to Vegas? I think I got married!)
She came to visit. We don’t live together, but we go to school together.
I think that’s plenty. You dudes know what I mean.
Here I am having flashbacks of her driving that bus again and taking my balls.
No respect!
Not again! I was quick to get my ball back this time.
I told her I had to go do important stuff.
She would have to stay home and take care of the animals.
My important stuff was basketball. Shhhh! Don’t tell.
Ready for the shot!
It’s up!
It’s in.
UHOH……I can feel her eyes on me.
I think I’m busted.
She was pretty mad. She threw the dog and left me.
I did what most guys do when their girl leaves them.
I sat down with some snacks and watched TV.
I hope she didn’t do anything crazy when she left.
Mom said to watch out for girls who wear animal prints.
Collect call from where? Jail?
I’m pretty sure my mommy and daddy wouldn’t want me talking to someone in jail.
So……I have a friend, a friend that happens to be a girl. Her name is Jules and she’s a super-cute blonde. I heard blondes have more fun, so I thought we would have a great time hanging out on our play date. BUT……I noticed some changes in our relationship.
You know, I wasn’t born yesterday. I’m 2.5 years-old and I’ve heard some things. Like, I know my mommy and daddy are married and now I’m wondering: Am I married too?
A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom) 