Mugshots: Fall 2013


Day: 41: I got my school pictures today.

We don’t need all the words today. Isn’t a picture supposed to be worth a lot of them anyway? And….I’ve got three of them.

So….That’s a lot of a lot of words.

PIC1

PIC2

PIC3

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Where The Wild Things Are (Halloween: Day 32)


I will tell you where they are. They are in my living room, dressed like lions and dancing in circles with girls dressed as fairy princess ballerina something or others.

lion1

They are scary and fierce, especially when they get on their laptops. They may be sending spam, chain letters or worse than that…….boring status updates on Facebook.

lion2

Sometimes, they take off their fur and hide among the regular folks.

“What? You’ve never seen the spoon on the nose trick? I’m not allowed to improvise?”

lion3

BE AWARE: DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS!

I’ve got your “Dark Passenger” Dexter Morgan.


Rumor has it, one of my mommy’s favorite shows (Dexter) might be ending. Well…..I’m not sure why it’s okay to like someone who does bad things, but he doesn’t have the market on darkness or codes.

I have my own “Dark Passenger” that makes me go a bit mad. If someone eats all my Cheetos, changes my favorite channel, or tells me to go to bed…….well….I’m just saying……things can get ugly. But it’s because of important stuff like I just said, so I have a code too.

AND…..Unlike Dexter, I didn’t muck things up by getting married and having a kid. Well, maybe I did get married that one time (Click here for evidence of my possible nuptials.) Plus, he thinks he’s slick because he’s a blood splatter guy at the police department. BUT….I’m as adorable as heck. Who would ever suspect me?

CHECK OUT MY AUDITION REEL:

He's dead

Do I need a warning label or what?

You knew I’d snap if you touched my snacks.”

Looks good

”Little pieces? I’m seeing why that makes sense now.”

Out of Box

“Holy macaroni. I hope that was a postmortem spasm.”

Trying to Pack it down

“Okay. I’m not allowed to use sharp objects….so….I’ll just have to keep patting him down until all the air comes out. Then he’ll fit.”

You aint see nothing

“Nothing to see here. I’m just taking the trash to the dumpster.”

Anyway…..If you’re listening Showtime, I think you could definitely replace Dexter with a new show. You should call it Justice or Just-Ice. Think about it. My agent’s name is Mommy. She’ll be waiting for your call.

My Magnificent Milestones


Milestones are big news for kids, but especially kids with a disability. I don’t know why? It’s not like we are bionic or science experiments, but how cool would being bionic be? Too cool!

Anyway……I just started walking, but I’m pretty good at it. I feed myself with some mess and I’m deciding if I want to start talking or not. Basically, I’m the mysterious, hot dude outside the lunch room wearing a leather jacket. I’ll do what I want, when I want. NO peer pressure for me.

But…..I do have some stuff I’m pretty proud of that I want to share with you. I’m only 28 months old and I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, so I am sorry if I do.

I CAN…..

dance on my back, on a bed, while laughing

Break dance on bed

determine if I look fat in my clothes without anyone’s help

Do i look fat

drink from a big cup that has flowers on it … I’m secure in my manhood.

Drink from straw

flush the toilet … I don’t use it yet, but I’m light-years ahead of kids 2-20 times my age on the flushing part.

Flush potty

create mathematically and architecturally amazing stool forts

Fort

use a flashlight to irritate the dog and entertain myself

MOrse Code

point the finger at the guilty party … The blame game is a true childhood milestone that some never outgrow.

Point the finger

put the toilet paper back after ripping it out … It’s called redemption.

Put toilet paper back

do the sidewinder grin, which is quite challenging … It’s actually the first step in learning ventriloquism.

Side smile sneer

use Cheetos to become a Sabertooth tiger

Tiger Cheetos

show my guns off for the ladies … We all know that is the most impressive milestone of them all.

nmn cxzz