Memories

I’ve got BIRTHDAY fever!

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Like….No joke. I really have the fever. Well, not anymore, but I did yesterday, so I missed school and played hooky again today. Talk about a great way to spend your birthday. No school and chilling with my shows and my pets.

Oh yeah….mommy and daddy were home too.

Anyway. I’M 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!

This is how it all began.

Justice Sonogram

Then I decided not to be a dark and brooding artist. I came into the light.

52502_1491524580083_2247834_o[1]

Here’s me at my first birthday celebration.

BD!

Here I am at the second birthday. I look a lot cooler.

BD2

You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see tonight’s pictures.

Besides, I’m napping right now and cannot be disturbed.

BE AWARE: I age well.  

Grandparent’s Day: (PreK Day 13)

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TODAY was Grandparent’s Day at my school. All the old folks got to come in this morning and eat breakfast with us and take pictures. I think it’s fun for them because they are retired and bored.

My “genetic” grandparents were all unavailable. I guess they have a busy retirement. I decided to adopt a grandma. Who says you can’t pick your family? Actually……A lot of people say that, but I did, because I’m awesome.

Mommy! Look! I’m pretending to be you when you were on those angry-loopy pills.

“I am a mommy zombie. I will destroy you.”

Okay. Make sure I don’t fall. I know how to call social services.

13-1

Daddy. You can let go now.

We’ve been doing this for a few weeks now.

Daddy

I guess mommy and daddy hung around since they had me in their 40’s. They could pass as grandparents.

And what is this? I get a lousy banana peel.

13-2

Um….Tastes like……

13-3

Well, it doesn’t taste like chicken.

I’m hiding it in this cup.

13-4

My adopted grandma gave me money.

Hmmm……It looks like the real thing.

13-5

 Let me find some ladies so I can flash my money around.

13-6

Wait. Concentrate.

What did daddy tell me about wasting money on the ladies? 

Get a haircut so you don’t look like Eddie Munster?

No. That’s not it, but that’s a good idea. Oh yeah……Don’t!

13-7

Grandma. I’m going to use the money to show you a magic trick instead.

Okay. Now you see it and now you don’t.

13-8

Pretty impressive right?

I bet you wanna know how I did that trick.

13-9

(“Daddy better pick that up before they figure me out.”)

13-10

Grandma was so impressed, she’s letting me play before school starts.

13-11

So you think an introduction is in order?

Grandma. It’s not real. I think I’m safe from being stung.

13-12

Oh no! We’ve been discovered.

13-13

That mommy is everywhere grandma. I can’t get anything by her.

Is it in the mommy manual to look so serious when kids just wanna have fun?

13-14

Someone’s Getting Schooled! (Day: 1)

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So my mommy has this idea about taking a picture of me every single day of my school life and posting it here. We’ll see if she can follow through.

If she does (pick one):

  • Sorry!
  • Glad you dig me.

If she doesn’t (pick one):

  • Lucky you.
  • I’ll send you a sympathy card.

My first day of preschool was yesterday. I missed the first week because I’m too cool for school and I wanted to be fashionably late. OR…..It was because I had my tonsils out and other stuff. I like the first reason better.

Justice 1st Day School

I have no clue my parents are getting ready to abandon me and leave me in the hands of total strangers. It’s just another photo op for me.

All dressed up with nowhere to go….(not awake that is)

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First of all: Did you miss me? I knew we’d make it back okay. And…..it was the same way we left, not by a rescue boat or plane. That would’ve been cool though.

Here we are…..so excited to leave. But why am I between two moving ships? I’m sure some disability protection act or something was really violated there.

Departure Baltimore

One night we got to dress up a little and go to the dining room.

This is my mommy and daddy.

Cruise Dining 1

Daddy hates this picture, but mommy posts anything she doesn’t hate of herself. See those eyebrows? In the car, on the way to the ship, she started tweezing. She forgot to take off the old powder/pencil stuff she had on. She thought she had more eyebrows than she really did. How silly!

After…..she looked like a sleepover prank gone wrong (..or right). They don’t make toupees for brows, so she had to pencil them in. Why does she get to draw on herself and I can’t? Grownups are so funny!

These are my crazy brothers and my insane sister. They wish they were as cute and popular as me. It was like Cheers. Everybody knew my name.

(But where am I?)

Dining 2

Well…..The night before I partied an itsy-bitsy-bit too much with this pirate I met. He was really friendly. He must have tweezed his moustache away, because he drew on his face too.

Party with Pirates

I wasn’t up for dining in my fancy clothes the next night.

Pirates are crazy!!!

Partied Out

And that green band is not a pass to drink Rum.

(WINK WINK)

 

My Magnificent Milestones

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Milestones are big news for kids, but especially kids with a disability. I don’t know why? It’s not like we are bionic or science experiments, but how cool would being bionic be? Too cool!

Anyway……I just started walking, but I’m pretty good at it. I feed myself with some mess and I’m deciding if I want to start talking or not. Basically, I’m the mysterious, hot dude outside the lunch room wearing a leather jacket. I’ll do what I want, when I want. NO peer pressure for me.

But…..I do have some stuff I’m pretty proud of that I want to share with you. I’m only 28 months old and I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, so I am sorry if I do.

I CAN…..

dance on my back, on a bed, while laughing

Break dance on bed

determine if I look fat in my clothes without anyone’s help

Do i look fat

drink from a big cup that has flowers on it … I’m secure in my manhood.

Drink from straw

flush the toilet … I don’t use it yet, but I’m light-years ahead of kids 2-20 times my age on the flushing part.

Flush potty

create mathematically and architecturally amazing stool forts

Fort

use a flashlight to irritate the dog and entertain myself

MOrse Code

point the finger at the guilty party … The blame game is a true childhood milestone that some never outgrow.

Point the finger

put the toilet paper back after ripping it out … It’s called redemption.

Put toilet paper back

do the sidewinder grin, which is quite challenging … It’s actually the first step in learning ventriloquism.

Side smile sneer

use Cheetos to become a Sabertooth tiger

Tiger Cheetos

show my guns off for the ladies … We all know that is the most impressive milestone of them all.

nmn cxzz