Breaking News: He got off Scott free!


He was caught at the scene of the crime trying to flush all evidence of Scott.

Crime1

He denied all involvement, but it was clear that he was on something at the time.

Crime2

Scott was everywhere, tousled around carelessly like freshly curled hair

crime3

I’ve never seen anything like this before. Clearly there was no remorse.

crime4

But…..We took him to trial…The glove didn’t fit, so we had to acquit.

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(Scott tissue will be in our prays.)

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!


Okay Chicken….I’m no egg expert, but I’m pretty sure this is crazy big. Are you doing steroids? What are you hiding? What’s happening in that barn? And don’t even think of playing games with me!

chix1

Hey mommy. No. Everything’s fine here. The train? Don’t worry about that. The chicken and me are gonna play a little game on the tracks.

chix2

Don’t even think of clucking at my mommy when she walks away. We can always have chicken soup tonight. Have I made myself clear?

chix3

Where did I come from?


When your child asks, what do you say?

Birth1

“You’re only talking about the bees ‘cause the bird stuff is too cute?

It’s like going potty, but not really? The hospital?”

Birth2

“You did what? And I come out of…….

STOP! STOP TALKING MOMMY!!!!!!!!”

Birth3

Well…..You LIE!!!!!

Back to School (….Where oh where did my break go?)


Seriously?

It’s time for school again.

I thought that break thing was permanent.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 007

Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.

What? You don’t care?

Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 010

Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.

AMEN……

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 011

I’m ready, but I’m not happy.

And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?

Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 015

(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)

Sammy the Elf pays Justice a visit.


What is that? Who is here? What do I see?

Elf1

It’s a strange little boy looking back at me.

elf3

Are those pants? Are those legs? Is it a suit?

elf4

How do you potty? How do you toot?

elf5

You frighten me with your strange lack of parts.

elf6

I can’t trust a dude who doesn’t fart.

elf7

Sammy: I’ve been thrown and I can’t get up.

elf8

I’m not leaving this tree. That kid’s too rough.

elf9

 

 

My Day On Social Media


Okay…..Let’s see what’s going on with the internet today.

What? Mommy and her friends are trying to be cool making duck-lip selfies. Old people are crazy!

I can do better.

How you like them duck-lips?

Justice Day 41 Computer 021

I just laughed so hard I farted.

“Here’s a list of things you may not know about me.”…..What kind of status is that? If people wanna know things they ask. Someone’s trying too hard.

Oh snap! Miley Cyrus bleached her eyebrows.

HAHAHA….. I’m gonna pee myself. I never knew a daddy ripping up newspaper was so hilarious.That baby is going bonkers.

Oh no she didn’t!

Now how do I make that smiley face thing? I just don’t understand how people make all those crazy symbols. I’m so behind with technology.

What? There’s an event I wasn’t invited to?

I see the pictures! You can’t deny it happened.

And…Why won’t you ever like my Facebook status???

I so hacked my sister’s account. This is gonna be awesome.

And…..

I’m defriending you and you and you….well…I’m blocking you.

Hmmmmm. I might have to rethink my political allegiance.

She’s fixing THAT for dinner??!! YUCK!” I don’t believe for five seconds her kids liked it like she said. Maybe the doggie did.

Not getting your way stinks! (PreK Day: 20)


I seriously didn’t wanna get out of bed today.

And I sure didn’t wanna go anywhere.

Mommy and Daddy made me go to school.

Day 20 Me and Cat

But…..Some really cool old dude came to my school and brought footballs. He had us practice throwing, catching and kicking. I caught the ball a lot, but I was grumpy, so I spent a lot of time hugging all the lady workers.

I’m no fool. (Just a regular dude.)

But…..I was still pretty grumpy when I got home. I just wanted to get on my tractor and be alone. Mommy wouldn’t let me drive it in the rain or off the porch steps.

Guys do dangerous stuff! I have guy urges.

I let her know what I thought of her decision.

 

 

 

Always use your head. Okay…Maybe not always.


BE AWARE:

Just like most kids my age and most dudes of any age, I sometimes put my head in places I probably shouldn’t.

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“Okay. Mommy? Daddy? I told people I did this to myself. Can you please take this kid cone off of my head now? I promise to be good.”

Reunion Cake Idea 004