He was caught at the scene of the crime trying to flush all evidence of Scott.
He denied all involvement, but it was clear that he was on something at the time.
Scott was everywhere, tousled around carelessly like freshly curled hair
I’ve never seen anything like this before. Clearly there was no remorse.
But…..We took him to trial…The glove didn’t fit, so we had to acquit.
(Scott tissue will be in our prays.)
What is that? Who is here? What do I see?
It’s a strange little boy looking back at me.
Are those pants? Are those legs? Is it a suit?
How do you potty? How do you toot?
You frighten me with your strange lack of parts.
I can’t trust a dude who doesn’t fart.
Sammy: I’ve been thrown and I can’t get up.
I’m not leaving this tree. That kid’s too rough.
Before school yesterday I had to lay down the law with my cat.
“NO mice, snakes, birds or squirrels going through the pet door today. I know you think it’s a funny prank to lay them inside my toy box, but it ain’t. You’re going to give me nightmares.”
Go get that cat. He’s not allowed to walk away from me when I’m talking to him.
What? You aren’t going to help?
Forget you then. I’ll just walk to school. I know the way.
Okay. Maybe I was out of line yesterday, but I have a problem.
I’m hooked on the sauce. “FORM OF APPLESAUCE. SHAPE OF AN APPLE!”
My mommy thought that was funny. I guess you have to be old like her to understand.
And…….When I don’t get the sauce fast enough, I can rage.
BE AWARE:
People with down syndrome are not always happy. I’m so emotional, I could be my own Lifetime Channel.
P.S: Mommy said don’t feel bad. I am a big tantrum faker, especially when I don’t get my way. Just like regular dudes my age.
BE AWARE:
Just like most kids my age and most dudes of any age, I sometimes put my head in places I probably shouldn’t.
“Okay. Mommy? Daddy? I told people I did this to myself. Can you please take this kid cone off of my head now? I promise to be good.”
Getting ready for the day.
Nothing beats a good koozie to keep your juice nice and chill.
That looks about right.
I don’t need any unnecessary interruptions or lawsuits.
OMG! What the hoobastank!
I leave for five seconds and some doo doo head tries to brick up my beverage.
I won’t stand for this.
I’m calling the home office.
Someone is going down for this incompetence.
Can you hear the pain and suffering my drink went through?
Can you?
The therapy for exacerbating the claustrophobia alone….. will bankrupt you.
Now you hold on one doggone minute.
I DO NOT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!!!
Do you hear that?
I’m drinking just fine. No problems at all.
(burp)
Wow! That was a good one. I’m ready for another.
Hey. What’s this?
I’ve seen models use these with powdered sugar on glass.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Now that right there hits the spot.
Did you get all that Mr. Home Office.
I’m fired?
Well. You can kiss my hiney.
Actually (hiccup), I’m using it now to keep balance.
You’re just gonna have to wait in line (hiccup) for kissing.
Too much fighting. I need another drink.
Not feeling good.
Can someone get me down?
Mommy? Daddy? I need a mouth diaper.
The day started off in the usual way.
I was working on my going to school strut.
I’ve got a spring in my step and a groove in my move.
Here’s my cubby at school. Don’t be jealous!
THEN the work began.
My mommy picked me up at school and caught me in the kitchen working.
They called it occupational therapy. Then someone whispered something about collating papers tomorrow and calling it physical therapy.
Do I need to start a union?
I guess mommy thought working was a good idea.
She said I had to hold these cushions up with my back until she was
done washing the covers.
Now she’s making me go up the stairs to my room…..to take a nap.
“Hello lady, I need a little help here!”
Before I went to bed, I had to work on my farm magnets.
Then…….I had to work on covering up my dignity with my flashlight.
I’ve got a diaper on now, so it’s all good.
No napping until I do my “monsters in the closet” checking job.
I think my flashlight is dying.
Oh well. I guess I have to work for batteries now.
Tuesday must be MY day. Last Tuesday I did something pretty cool walking into school. I walked past the school buses and saw a kid outside. I decided to make a new friend. When I tried to say “hi” he accidently fell over. I didn’t mean to push him. Mommy and Daddy thought it was funny. Mommy said I was making a political statement. I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I like plastic people. Some of the best hugs I’ve ever gotten were from women who had some work done.
![slow-down[1]](https://adoseofjustice.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/slow-down1.jpg "slow-down[1]")
Anyway…….This is where my 2nd great Tuesday begins.
I’m actually excited to get to the van.
I tried to get in the back where I usually ride, but mommy was taking pictures and said she couldn’t show me getting into the trunk.
“Okay mommy. I’ll play along.”
Here I am……ready to do amazing things like……say “SQUARE” in class today. I didn’t even say it to a kid to be mean. I was actually saying it to a shape. I don’t know if you think that’s cool or not, but it is. It is!
The day started off with me styling for school and turned into a DATE!
A play date.
Okay. I didn’t really bring a girl home.
She’s my wife. (Did we go to Vegas? I think I got married!)
She came to visit. We don’t live together, but we go to school together.
I think that’s plenty. You dudes know what I mean.
Here I am having flashbacks of her driving that bus again and taking my balls.
No respect!
Not again! I was quick to get my ball back this time.
I told her I had to go do important stuff.
She would have to stay home and take care of the animals.
My important stuff was basketball. Shhhh! Don’t tell.
Ready for the shot!
It’s up!
It’s in.
UHOH……I can feel her eyes on me.
I think I’m busted.
She was pretty mad. She threw the dog and left me.
I did what most guys do when their girl leaves them.
I sat down with some snacks and watched TV.
I hope she didn’t do anything crazy when she left.
Mom said to watch out for girls who wear animal prints.
Collect call from where? Jail?
I’m pretty sure my mommy and daddy wouldn’t want me talking to someone in jail.
A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom) 