Fooled Into School 3 Weeks Ago


Cool? Spool? Uh….What?

Say What

 

Yeah….School. That’s what it sounded like.

That's What I though

 

No thanks! I’m kind of booked up. I’m hanging with my dog.

Hanging with My Dog

 

I’m running with sticks, but only sharp ones.

Running With SticksI

 

I’m working on my dance moves. You’d be surprised how much fine tuning they need.

Working on my dance moves

 

(Okay…..That did not work.)

Not Sure How To Get Out

 

Plan A: (smile)

 

I'll Use My Smile

 

Plan B: (intimidate)

I'll intimidate

 

Plan C: (heartfelt plea) “Mommy. You already doubled my speech each week and just about quadrupled my OT. Aren’t you worried you might be overworking my fragile self? Plus, you know I’ll miss you. School can’t give hugs like you. And….you’re so pretty, even when you aren’t.”

heartfelt speech

 

Serious?! Three days a week??!! And you’re going to work with me at home too??!! Well…..I take back that pretty part.

not working

 

THEN IT WAS THE MORNING OF THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:

Uh…..So you slept on it and still think it’s a good idea?

serious about school

 

Mommy. My dinosaur might attack you if I’m not home to hold him back.

dinosaur no

 

(None of it worked, so I did what people nowadays seem to do to get what they want. I took my clothes off. ……. Mommy put them back on. I didn’t think that far ahead.)

took off my clothes

 

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I’m Back!


Did you miss me? I’ve been gone awhile. Just like with most stuff, it’s mommy’s fault. Maybe daddy’s fault too. I don’t know. It’s not mine. Do you want to hear all about my adventures? Okay….First…

Back1

Oh Shitake Mushroom…..Mommy is making me go to school. Guess you don’t get to hear my stories now. See what I mean. Not my fault!

Back2

Back to School (….Where oh where did my break go?)


Seriously?

It’s time for school again.

I thought that break thing was permanent.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 007

Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.

What? You don’t care?

Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 010

Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.

AMEN……

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 011

I’m ready, but I’m not happy.

And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?

Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 015

(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)

Today was not my day. (Day: 37)


I went to school today, but that was the easy part. I mean how bad is a muffin in the morning and a turkey cheese sandwich for lunch. Not too bad. I worked on a turkey feather collage and played with cars and scooters at gym time. BUT….The time after school was the rough stuff.

First of all…..my wife came home with me. Enough said on that.

My artistic vision was lost today. I couldn’t figure out what to doodle on my doodle pad. It was sad and made me feel poopy. Oh where, oh where did my muse go?

Today1

Then I couldn’t decide what to wear, so I went to my mommy’s closet. What was I even thinking? Her clothes don’t fit me. Plus….I have better taste.

Today2

I did find this questionable high heel shoe in her closet. It looked like Minnie Mouse’s shoe on steroids. On the upside, I found something to use as a hammer.

Today3

And finally…..I was clueless about putting my pajamas on. It’s not like riding a bike. It’s not. Okay….Maybe it is. I don’t know how to do that either. Not yet.

Today5

I just want to go to bed.

Football, Tooth Care and My Wife is Back (Day: 35 & 36)


Last Thursday (Day 35) we played football at school.

Here I am, getting ready to kick the hiney out of this ball.

Football1

What the whatnots?!!  Where’d that girl come from?

Why are girls always taking everything a guy has?

football3

Little did she know…..I have two balls. I’ve still got this one.

football4

Let’s try this again before she comes back.

football2

FRIDAY IS A BLUR!

On Saturday: I taught my big brother synchronized dancing. He’s not that good.

Saturday Fun

Sunday was church.

I get to go in a room and play the whole time. I pulled the long straw with that agenda.

Check me out! I’m practicing good hygiene before we go.

Brush teeth 1

When we got back I chased leaves.

I wasn’t successful, but it was fun.

Catching Leaves

This is me again, (Day 36) doing the hygiene thing.

I’m getting good, except I throw my toothbrush when I’m done.

In my defense, I’ve been playing football and it’s kinda like a touchdown using the “in your face” ball smack down.

Brush Teeth 2

After school, my wife came over.

I found out she’s going to be living with us for twelve hours each week. That’s seems like too much. Daddy told me that’s about as much time as most people see their wives. Sometimes more! How do dudes do it? 

wife 1

I’m hiding from her now. I hope she doesn’t find me.

wife 2

Oh…..She found me and someone gave her the wife manual on wrestling moves.

wife 3

We’re going to bed now. Separate beds of course.

I don’t need my wife all up in my face when I’m trying to rest.

I’m not a piece of meat.

wife 4

Are you in the right circles? (Days: 33 & 34)


DAY 33: Here I am working on my circle skills. This is not trickery courtesy of my mommy. That is my handiwork people.

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 017

No school on Tuesday cause the grownups around here had to use the schools to do something called voting. They had to go fill in someone else’s circles. Mommy and Daddy must have been embarrassed because they had to hid behind a curtain to do it. Then someone gave them a sticker when they were done. Sounds crazy to me.

I hide and do things. I don’t get stickers.

DAY 34: This was Wednesday. Today was picture day at my school. I don’t need to worry about my looks, so I decided to keep working on my circle skills.

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 051

Time for school.

Bringing my pad with me.

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 054

Oh shitake mushroom!

Who put that drop there?

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 055

It’s good.

I’m up.

I got this.

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 056

Okay. Can you put the camera down and help me down these steps?  You know I can only keep my eyebrows up like this for so long.

Happy Gilmore and Picture Day 059

Not talking to you. (Day 23/24)


“Keep walking. I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”

Talk 1

“Eating here! Can’t a guy get a moment with his eggs?”

Talk2

“Can’t you take a hint? I’m pretending to talk to a bush for goodness sakes.”

Talk3

BE AWARE: I don’t talk to just anyone.