Fooled Into School 3 Weeks Ago

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Cool? Spool? Uh….What?

Yeah….School. That’s what it sounded like.

No thanks! I’m kind of booked up. I’m hanging with my dog.

I’m running with sticks, but only sharp ones.

I’m working on my dance moves. You’d be surprised how much fine tuning they need.

(Okay…..That did not work.)

Plan A: (smile)

Plan B: (intimidate)

Plan C: (heartfelt plea) “Mommy. You already doubled my speech each week and just about quadrupled my OT. Aren’t you worried you might be overworking my fragile self? Plus, you know I’ll miss you. School can’t give hugs like you. And….you’re so pretty, even when you aren’t.”

Serious?! Three days a week??!! And you’re going to work with me at home too??!! Well…..I take back that pretty part.

THEN IT WAS THE MORNING OF THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:

Uh…..So you slept on it and still think it’s a good idea?

Mommy. My dinosaur might attack you if I’m not home to hold him back.

(None of it worked, so I did what people nowadays seem to do to get what they want. I took my clothes off. ……. Mommy put them back on. I didn’t think that far ahead.)

I’m Back!

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Did you miss me? I’ve been gone awhile. Just like with most stuff, it’s mommy’s fault. Maybe daddy’s fault too. I don’t know. It’s not mine. Do you want to hear all about my adventures? Okay….First…

Oh Shitake Mushroom…..Mommy is making me go to school. Guess you don’t get to hear my stories now. See what I mean. Not my fault!

Back to School (….Where oh where did my break go?)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Seriously?

It’s time for school again.

I thought that break thing was permanent.

Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.

What? You don’t care?

Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.

Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.

AMEN……

I’m ready, but I’m not happy.

And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?

Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.

(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)

Mugshots: Fall 2013

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Day: 41: I got my school pictures today.

We don’t need all the words today. Isn’t a picture supposed to be worth a lot of them anyway? And….I’ve got three of them.

So….That’s a lot of a lot of words.

If I say I’m a turnip will you stop taking my blood? (Day: 38 & 39)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Day 38: No pictures of me for yesterday. I had to leave school early because of yuckiness. I had a fever and some other stuff that is just nobody’s business, cause a dude’s business should be private. Let’s just say it was questionable enough to make my mommy pick me up early from school.

She took me to the doctor and he said I could play the sick card and miss school today. But….He also said my liver seemed enlarged and I would need to get some blood drawn. That seemed silly to me. Why would anyone want a drawing of blood? And….Who do you call to do that?

Day 39: See how excited I am to go.

My mommy would be real big poopy head if she took a picture of me getting my blood taken. Instead she drew a quick version of my nightmare. That just makes her a little poopy head.

I’m a lot cuter than that.

After my torture, mommy and daddy took me to eat. I think it was more for them. I like french fries. Daddy is making a funny face to hide the fact his face looks funny.

I don’t trust daddy. He is trying to take some of my food.

I have to give him the stinky eye to keep him away.

Then we went to my sister’s school to watch her perform with her Spirit Squad and Drama Club.

“My nap was interrupted for this!” (I hope I used the right finger. My sign language is kinda rusty.)

Today was not my day. (Day: 37)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I went to school today, but that was the easy part. I mean how bad is a muffin in the morning and a turkey cheese sandwich for lunch. Not too bad. I worked on a turkey feather collage and played with cars and scooters at gym time. BUT….The time after school was the rough stuff.

First of all…..my wife came home with me. Enough said on that.

My artistic vision was lost today. I couldn’t figure out what to doodle on my doodle pad. It was sad and made me feel poopy. Oh where, oh where did my muse go?

Then I couldn’t decide what to wear, so I went to my mommy’s closet. What was I even thinking? Her clothes don’t fit me. Plus….I have better taste.

I did find this questionable high heel shoe in her closet. It looked like Minnie Mouse’s shoe on steroids. On the upside, I found something to use as a hammer.

And finally…..I was clueless about putting my pajamas on. It’s not like riding a bike. It’s not. Okay….Maybe it is. I don’t know how to do that either. Not yet.

I just want to go to bed.

Football, Tooth Care and My Wife is Back (Day: 35 & 36)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Last Thursday (Day 35) we played football at school.

Here I am, getting ready to kick the hiney out of this ball.

What the whatnots?!! Where’d that girl come from?

Why are girls always taking everything a guy has?

Little did she know…..I have two balls. I’ve still got this one.

Let’s try this again before she comes back.

FRIDAY IS A BLUR!

On Saturday: I taught my big brother synchronized dancing. He’s not that good.

Sunday was church.

I get to go in a room and play the whole time. I pulled the long straw with that agenda.

Check me out! I’m practicing good hygiene before we go.

When we got back I chased leaves.

I wasn’t successful, but it was fun.

This is me again, (Day 36) doing the hygiene thing.

I’m getting good, except I throw my toothbrush when I’m done.

In my defense, I’ve been playing football and it’s kinda like a touchdown using the “in your face” ball smack down.

After school, my wife came over.

I found out she’s going to be living with us for twelve hours each week. That’s seems like too much. Daddy told me that’s about as much time as most people see their wives. Sometimes more! How do dudes do it?

I’m hiding from her now. I hope she doesn’t find me.

Oh…..She found me and someone gave her the wife manual on wrestling moves.

We’re going to bed now. Separate beds of course.

I don’t need my wife all up in my face when I’m trying to rest.

I’m not a piece of meat.

Are you in the right circles? (Days: 33 & 34)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

DAY 33: Here I am working on my circle skills. This is not trickery courtesy of my mommy. That is my handiwork people.

No school on Tuesday cause the grownups around here had to use the schools to do something called voting. They had to go fill in someone else’s circles. Mommy and Daddy must have been embarrassed because they had to hid behind a curtain to do it. Then someone gave them a sticker when they were done. Sounds crazy to me.

I hide and do things. I don’t get stickers.

DAY 34: This was Wednesday. Today was picture day at my school. I don’t need to worry about my looks, so I decided to keep working on my circle skills.

Time for school.

Bringing my pad with me.

Oh shitake mushroom!

Who put that drop there?

It’s good.

I’m up.

I got this.

Okay. Can you put the camera down and help me down these steps? You know I can only keep my eyebrows up like this for so long.

It’s a bit blurry with bacon. (PreK Day: ?–31)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

It seems like my School Days (25 – 30) have been a big blur for my mommy. It’s no fun to have a mommy who is fuzzy headed. I don’t mean like one of those Chia pets either. That would actually be fun because I could cut her hair and it would grow back. I could play with scissors and not be in trouble.

Oh well…..I’ve been taking up dancing since my mommy has been out of it. Daddy has been off of work to help mommy. Someone has to bring home the bacon. That’s funny because my daddy is a pig. I don’t get it, but that’s what people say.

Here is my routine. Cue the music.