Parents Just Don’t Understand

Potty Training: Day 3 (AKA: We’ll see about that!)

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“Hey mommy!  I’m smiling at you in a super

cute way and I signed please.”

Potty1

“Can I have some Fritos?” (…still smiling…)

Potty2

“What? I have to go potty first? I mean

toilet. I forgot we were being super fancy

pantsy with more grown up with words.”

Potty3

“When this timer thingy goes off, I’m

staying put. You’ll see.”

Potty4

“Timer thingy just went dingy. Uhhh. I

wonder if mommy remembers.”

Potty5

“Uh oh! Now my talking thingy is saying

Toilet, Toilet. Mommy heard that. I’m not

seeing a way out of this.”

Potty6

“At least I get my iPad. Hey mommy.

How about some me time? Back away from

the toilet.”

Potty7

“Okay. A little bit further.”

Potty8

“That’s better.”

Potty9

“Okay. So what if I went through a few

hundred underpants today. Girls aren’t the

only ones who get to change over and over again.”

Potty10

 

 

Fooled Into School 3 Weeks Ago

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Cool? Spool? Uh….What?

Say What

 

Yeah….School. That’s what it sounded like.

That's What I though

 

No thanks! I’m kind of booked up. I’m hanging with my dog.

Hanging with My Dog

 

I’m running with sticks, but only sharp ones.

Running With SticksI

 

I’m working on my dance moves. You’d be surprised how much fine tuning they need.

Working on my dance moves

 

(Okay…..That did not work.)

Not Sure How To Get Out

 

Plan A: (smile)

 

I'll Use My Smile

 

Plan B: (intimidate)

I'll intimidate

 

Plan C: (heartfelt plea) “Mommy. You already doubled my speech each week and just about quadrupled my OT. Aren’t you worried you might be overworking my fragile self? Plus, you know I’ll miss you. School can’t give hugs like you. And….you’re so pretty, even when you aren’t.”

heartfelt speech

 

Serious?! Three days a week??!! And you’re going to work with me at home too??!! Well…..I take back that pretty part.

not working

 

THEN IT WAS THE MORNING OF THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:

Uh…..So you slept on it and still think it’s a good idea?

serious about school

 

Mommy. My dinosaur might attack you if I’m not home to hold him back.

dinosaur no

 

(None of it worked, so I did what people nowadays seem to do to get what they want. I took my clothes off. ……. Mommy put them back on. I didn’t think that far ahead.)

took off my clothes

 

I’m Back!

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Did you miss me? I’ve been gone awhile. Just like with most stuff, it’s mommy’s fault. Maybe daddy’s fault too. I don’t know. It’s not mine. Do you want to hear all about my adventures? Okay….First…

Back1

Oh Shitake Mushroom…..Mommy is making me go to school. Guess you don’t get to hear my stories now. See what I mean. Not my fault!

Back2

Back to School (….Where oh where did my break go?)

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Seriously?

It’s time for school again.

I thought that break thing was permanent.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 007

Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.

What? You don’t care?

Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 010

Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.

AMEN……

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 011

I’m ready, but I’m not happy.

And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?

Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.

Justice Back to School Jan 2014 015

(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)

Not talking to you. (Day 23/24)

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“Keep walking. I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”

Talk 1

“Eating here! Can’t a guy get a moment with his eggs?”

Talk2

“Can’t you take a hint? I’m pretending to talk to a bush for goodness sakes.”

Talk3

BE AWARE: I don’t talk to just anyone.

Let’s take a mental health day. (PreK Day: 22)

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I can’t believe you took me from my warm bed and brought me down stairs when I was still sleeping.

Seriously? Where is your love for me?

Just give me five more minutes.

Justice NO School Day 22

You know mommy, it doesn’t look like a good day to go to school.

BE AWARE: I don’t always get my way.

DSC_0703

Fine. I’ll go, but only because you’re making me. But….I’m not going to be happy about it.

“I thought staying up till 1a.m. would be a Get Out of School Free Card.

Mommy is such a meanie!”

DSC_0706

Not getting your way stinks! (PreK Day: 20)

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I seriously didn’t wanna get out of bed today.

And I sure didn’t wanna go anywhere.

Mommy and Daddy made me go to school.

Day 20 Me and Cat

But…..Some really cool old dude came to my school and brought footballs. He had us practice throwing, catching and kicking. I caught the ball a lot, but I was grumpy, so I spent a lot of time hugging all the lady workers.

I’m no fool. (Just a regular dude.)

But…..I was still pretty grumpy when I got home. I just wanted to get on my tractor and be alone. Mommy wouldn’t let me drive it in the rain or off the porch steps.

Guys do dangerous stuff! I have guy urges.

I let her know what I thought of her decision.