When your child asks, what do you say?
“You’re only talking about the bees ‘cause the bird stuff is too cute?
It’s like going potty, but not really? The hospital?”
“You did what? And I come out of…….
STOP! STOP TALKING MOMMY!!!!!!!!”
Well…..You LIE!!!!!
Seriously?
It’s time for school again.
I thought that break thing was permanent.
Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.
What? You don’t care?
Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.
Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.
AMEN……
I’m ready, but I’m not happy.
And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?
Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.
(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)
And that’s just what I did for the first hour or so. I guess I just wasn’t in a partying mood.
But then, there was cake. That wife of mine is eyeing what I’ve got. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving her what’s on my plate. We’re married after all, not dating.
Speaking of cake……check this out.
TOP: 1st Birthday Cake –Amazing
BOTTOM LEFT: 2nd Birthday Cake – Also Amazing
BOTTOM RIGHT: This year’s birthday cake – POOPIE!
I guess three years doesn’t mean much around here. BUT….Maybe I shouldn’t let mommy and daddy hear me complain since I was the only one of us four kids who even got a party this year. That’s right. No great parent of the year awards being handed out here. Oh well. My brothers and sister seemed to be happy with some kind of paper they got. I think it’s called money. I don’t know why. I got toys.
I said “WOW” with every present I opened. I didn’t even care what was inside.
See this mess. This is my Thomas The Train set I got last night. Guess what? It still looks like this because daddy can’t figure out how to put it together. Mommy asked if he read the directions. Why would a mommy ever ask a daddy something like that?
Gotta go! I don’t know when I’ll be back up here. Mommy gets her other foot cut and stitched up tomorrow. I think she’s going to be on those pills again. They make her either drowsy-loopy mommy or mean-impatient mommy.
BE AWARE: I’ll be back!
“Keep walking. I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”
“Eating here! Can’t a guy get a moment with his eggs?”
“Can’t you take a hint? I’m pretending to talk to a bush for goodness sakes.”
BE AWARE: I don’t talk to just anyone.
This was actually yesterday, but my mom is getting kind of up there in age, so it’s taking her a bit of time to get on the ball. Plus, she’s posting this late because my sister tried to grab all my thunder. She had a softball incident today and broke her finger. I break stuff all the time and keep moving on in life. I break toys, cups and even wind. You don’t see me whining about it. GIRLS! They just want all the attention.
(Anyway: Let’s get back to my day.)
Holy macaroni! This backpack is the size of me if I was doubled over.
Seriously guys. You couldn’t have found a bigger backpack for me?
I mean really. It only comes up to my waist.
Don’t worry.
I’ll suck it up because I’m a machine.
Oh my gosh sister!
Do you ever let me have a moment to myself?
How much attention do you need? Out of my shot!
I’ll have to give her this or she will never leave me alone.
I bet this was the moment she started planning her finger break thingy.
Just can’t let me shine. She had to put powder on it.
I’m starting speech therapy in about a week, but I don’t really understand why. I mean….I’m not even talking yet. How do they know I’m even going to have a problem? Maybe I’ve got nothing to say. Maybe my mommy and daddy should be asking themselves why I don’t want to talk. Maybe they should all be in some kind of therapy.
I’d bet my Cheetos that my brothers and sister need some type of speech or social therapy way more than I do.
THIS IS WHAT MY BIGGEST BROTHER SOUNDS LIKE
THIS IS WHAT MY NEXT BIG BROTHER SOUNDS LIKE
THIS IS WHAT MY BIG SISTER SOUNDS LIKE
See what I mean. Doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe they want to make sure at least one of their kids speaks English and I’m their last hope. Yeah….that’s probably it.
Here’s a picture of me so you don’t leave without getting “justice”. My mommy thinks that’s funny. I don’t know why.
![262484_1985952972782_7343646_n[1]](https://adoseofjustice.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/262484_1985952972782_7343646_n1.jpg "262484_1985952972782_7343646_n[1]")
![561651_3975851118992_1979301113_n[1]](https://adoseofjustice.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/561651_3975851118992_1979301113_n1.jpg "561651_3975851118992_1979301113_n[1]")
![300524_2084915646787_456025998_n[1]](https://adoseofjustice.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/300524_2084915646787_456025998_n1.jpg "300524_2084915646787_456025998_n[1]")
![181565_1637796909098_3544925_n[1]](https://adoseofjustice.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/181565_1637796909098_3544925_n1.jpg "181565_1637796909098_3544925_n[1]")
A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom) 