Just a regular dude.

My Day On Social Media

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Okay…..Let’s see what’s going on with the internet today.

What? Mommy and her friends are trying to be cool making duck-lip selfies. Old people are crazy!

I can do better.

How you like them duck-lips?

Justice Day 41 Computer 021

I just laughed so hard I farted.

“Here’s a list of things you may not know about me.”…..What kind of status is that? If people wanna know things they ask. Someone’s trying too hard.

Oh snap! Miley Cyrus bleached her eyebrows.

HAHAHA….. I’m gonna pee myself. I never knew a daddy ripping up newspaper was so hilarious.That baby is going bonkers.

Oh no she didn’t!

Now how do I make that smiley face thing? I just don’t understand how people make all those crazy symbols. I’m so behind with technology.

What? There’s an event I wasn’t invited to?

I see the pictures! You can’t deny it happened.

And…Why won’t you ever like my Facebook status???

I so hacked my sister’s account. This is gonna be awesome.

And…..

I’m defriending you and you and you….well…I’m blocking you.

Hmmmmm. I might have to rethink my political allegiance.

She’s fixing THAT for dinner??!! YUCK!” I don’t believe for five seconds her kids liked it like she said. Maybe the doggie did.

Dudes need action! (Day: 40)

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After missing time for being sick……I had to go back to school today. We had pancakes for lunch so that was pretty cool. What was even cooler…..my mommy and daddy brought me and my wife to the park.

Here I am swinging with the ball and chain. We were having a good time….at first. Then she started talking about wanting new clothes and why don’t I have a job.

Justice Jules at Park 016

I was sinking deeper and deeper into darkness. I just wanted to throw a toy at myself….over and over.

Justice Jules at Park 028

For a little bit…I thought about jumping from the swing….just to make it all stop.

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Then I remembered I was a dude. And dudes don’t drop out of swings just because girls are hassling them. Dudes act crazy and find excitement.

I can’t drive…..so I decided to go fast on the slide instead.

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Look at me! No hands.

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Oh poopy! No one is here to catch me!

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I can’t go rock climbing, but this looks easy.

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Hmmm…..Not too bad.

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Should my foot be on this bar or the one under it?

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Shitake mushroom! Mommy! Daddy! I need a little help here.

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LESSON OF THE DAY:

Be the dude that you are and don’t swing with your wife. It’s not as much fun as it might seem.

Today was not my day. (Day: 37)

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I went to school today, but that was the easy part. I mean how bad is a muffin in the morning and a turkey cheese sandwich for lunch. Not too bad. I worked on a turkey feather collage and played with cars and scooters at gym time. BUT….The time after school was the rough stuff.

First of all…..my wife came home with me. Enough said on that.

My artistic vision was lost today. I couldn’t figure out what to doodle on my doodle pad. It was sad and made me feel poopy. Oh where, oh where did my muse go?

Today1

Then I couldn’t decide what to wear, so I went to my mommy’s closet. What was I even thinking? Her clothes don’t fit me. Plus….I have better taste.

Today2

I did find this questionable high heel shoe in her closet. It looked like Minnie Mouse’s shoe on steroids. On the upside, I found something to use as a hammer.

Today3

And finally…..I was clueless about putting my pajamas on. It’s not like riding a bike. It’s not. Okay….Maybe it is. I don’t know how to do that either. Not yet.

Today5

I just want to go to bed.

Football, Tooth Care and My Wife is Back (Day: 35 & 36)

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Last Thursday (Day 35) we played football at school.

Here I am, getting ready to kick the hiney out of this ball.

Football1

What the whatnots?!!  Where’d that girl come from?

Why are girls always taking everything a guy has?

football3

Little did she know…..I have two balls. I’ve still got this one.

football4

Let’s try this again before she comes back.

football2

FRIDAY IS A BLUR!

On Saturday: I taught my big brother synchronized dancing. He’s not that good.

Saturday Fun

Sunday was church.

I get to go in a room and play the whole time. I pulled the long straw with that agenda.

Check me out! I’m practicing good hygiene before we go.

Brush teeth 1

When we got back I chased leaves.

I wasn’t successful, but it was fun.

Catching Leaves

This is me again, (Day 36) doing the hygiene thing.

I’m getting good, except I throw my toothbrush when I’m done.

In my defense, I’ve been playing football and it’s kinda like a touchdown using the “in your face” ball smack down.

Brush Teeth 2

After school, my wife came over.

I found out she’s going to be living with us for twelve hours each week. That’s seems like too much. Daddy told me that’s about as much time as most people see their wives. Sometimes more! How do dudes do it? 

wife 1

I’m hiding from her now. I hope she doesn’t find me.

wife 2

Oh…..She found me and someone gave her the wife manual on wrestling moves.

wife 3

We’re going to bed now. Separate beds of course.

I don’t need my wife all up in my face when I’m trying to rest.

I’m not a piece of meat.

wife 4

This is not a drug PSA! It’s a mom PSA.

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I  posted this picture about a week ago.

This is what my daddy can accomplish drug-free. Pretty impressive effort on his part.

BD5

This is what my mommy can accomplish on drugs.

(legally prescribed ones – in her name)

What a showoff!

Train Set Halloween 2013 013

This is one of the reasons that daddy married mommy. He won’t tell me the other reasons.

I’m glad mommy is getting better from her surgery, because I missed her.

I really missed the stuff that mommy does for me.

Oh darn! Does this mean I can’t stay up late anymore daddy?

Train Set Halloween 2013 008

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

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And that’s just what I did for the first hour or so. I guess I just wasn’t in a partying mood.

BD1

But then, there was cake. That wife of mine is eyeing what I’ve got. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving her what’s on my plate. We’re married after all, not dating.

BD3

Speaking of cake……check this out.

2013-10-23 3rd Birthday and Day After

TOP: 1st Birthday Cake –Amazing

BOTTOM LEFT: 2nd Birthday Cake – Also Amazing

BOTTOM RIGHT: This year’s birthday cake – POOPIE!

I guess three years doesn’t mean much around here. BUT….Maybe I shouldn’t let mommy and daddy hear me complain since I was the only one of us four kids who even got a party this year. That’s right. No great parent of the year awards being handed out here. Oh well. My brothers and sister seemed to be happy with some kind of paper they got. I think it’s called money. I don’t know why. I got toys.

I said “WOW” with every present I opened. I didn’t even care what was inside.

BD4

See this mess. This is my Thomas The Train set I got last night. Guess what? It still looks like this because daddy can’t figure out how to put it together. Mommy asked if he read the directions. Why would a mommy ever ask a daddy something like that?

BD5

Gotta go! I don’t know when I’ll be back up here. Mommy gets her other foot cut and stitched up tomorrow. I think she’s going to be on those pills again. They make her either drowsy-loopy mommy or mean-impatient mommy.

BE AWARE: I’ll be back!

Cheers At Church

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This is me…..today…..after church.

Church

I went on stage with my class (2/3-year-olds) and we sang a song and held up signs. Okay….I didn’t hold up any of the signs and I didn’t sing the words, but I did do some other things.

What I did do:

  • I stood up on stage with my class. No one held me or my hand.
  • I didn’t get scared with everyone watching me.
  • I didn’t cry when the kid beside me started to wail.
  • I didn’t sing the words, but I moved my lips. I think that’s what most people do on stage.

 

In the end…..everyone cheered and clapped.  

 

BE AWARE: I am a performer. BUT….You probably knew that.