Let’s take a mental health day. (PreK Day: 22)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I can’t believe you took me from my warm bed and brought me down stairs when I was still sleeping.

Seriously? Where is your love for me?

Just give me five more minutes.

You know mommy, it doesn’t look like a good day to go to school.

BE AWARE: I don’t always get my way.

Fine. I’ll go, but only because you’re making me. But….I’m not going to be happy about it.

“I thought staying up till 1a.m. would be a Get Out of School Free Card.

Mommy is such a meanie!”

Not getting your way stinks! (PreK Day: 20)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I seriously didn’t wanna get out of bed today.

And I sure didn’t wanna go anywhere.

Mommy and Daddy made me go to school.

But…..Some really cool old dude came to my school and brought footballs. He had us practice throwing, catching and kicking. I caught the ball a lot, but I was grumpy, so I spent a lot of time hugging all the lady workers.

I’m no fool. (Just a regular dude.)

But…..I was still pretty grumpy when I got home. I just wanted to get on my tractor and be alone. Mommy wouldn’t let me drive it in the rain or off the porch steps.

Guys do dangerous stuff! I have guy urges.

I let her know what I thought of her decision.

Drinking On The Job: It happens!

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Getting ready for the day.

Nothing beats a good koozie to keep your juice nice and chill.

That looks about right.

I don’t need any unnecessary interruptions or lawsuits.

OMG! What the hoobastank!

I leave for five seconds and some doo doo head tries to brick up my beverage.

I won’t stand for this.

I’m calling the home office.

Someone is going down for this incompetence.

Can you hear the pain and suffering my drink went through?

Can you?

The therapy for exacerbating the claustrophobia alone….. will bankrupt you.

Now you hold on one doggone minute.

I DO NOT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!!!

Do you hear that?

I’m drinking just fine. No problems at all.

(burp)

Wow! That was a good one. I’m ready for another.

Hey. What’s this?

I’ve seen models use these with powdered sugar on glass.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Now that right there hits the spot.

Did you get all that Mr. Home Office.

I’m fired?

Well. You can kiss my hiney.

Actually (hiccup), I’m using it now to keep balance.

You’re just gonna have to wait in line (hiccup) for kissing.

Too much fighting. I need another drink.

Not feeling good.

Can someone get me down?

Mommy? Daddy? I need a mouth diaper.

Who’s the saint? I AM!

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Yeah, yeah, yeah…..In the beginning I heard a lot of nonsense about my parents being saints and how wonderful my siblings were to me. Blah, blah, blah I say (…or would say).

Let me tell you something people. I’m the saint. I’m the best thing that every happened to those poor souls. My family is crazy, loud and all kinds of….did I say crazy?

Before I was even born, I was stressed out by the nonsense I heard.

Proof:” I can’t believe I’m going to have to deal with this. Can I stay in here a little longer? Like forever?”

This one here. I can’t understand half the things that come out of his mouth.

I’ve learned to pretend to be asleep when I’m around him.

Brother #2 cant read a story with enthusiasm to save his life.

I’m constantly reminding him to stay in character. How infuriating!!!

And this girl……Well she is a real problem.

Every time my “real” mom turns around, she steps in to be Mommy at Large.

Her hugs are lethal. Do my cries for help fall on deaf ears?

NOW…….This is what happens when your siblings find out you’re talking trash (truth) about them.

Mom and Dad just say: “Kids will be kids.”