(For those who need RED print translated: “Something so tragic happened last night …. I can’t even talk about it )
(“Uh … Who told you to take the camera off me? I’m telling a story here.”)
(“As I was saying … It’s very emotional.”)
(“It started off with Jennie and her Franks. Not these … so don’t try to find this one to do something bad like suffocate it in a blanket and call it dinner for your kid.”)
So….. I was enjoying my time with Frank and then it wasn’t fun anymore. Frank went too far and it was hard to breathe. I started to choke. Mommy tried to help me, but she just wasn’t getting the job done.
First off, don’t ever blame the kid with a disability …. for anything …. ever. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. I’m innocent! Second, If anyone needs to go to save money in this house ….. it ain’t me.
It’s mommy’s fault because she makes my food at the right temperature and doesn’t give me ketchup. All those chemicals are bad for me. Boy….Was she off base? It’s like giving me matches, but not the paper.
It’s Daddy’s fault for not being home and making my lunch. He makes food so hot, I have to take a million tiny slow bites so my mouth doesn’t melt. And …. He gives me so much ketchup, it looks like a crime scene, but it makes the food slide down my throat.
But mostly it’s Daddy’s fault since Mommy always says she’s always right.
And there’s no way they’ll let me enter any hotdog eating contests. My life is over.
And that’s just what I did for the first hour or so. I guess I just wasn’t in a partying mood.
But then, there was cake. That wife of mine is eyeing what I’ve got. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving her what’s on my plate. We’re married after all, not dating.
Speaking of cake……check this out.
TOP: 1st Birthday Cake –Amazing
BOTTOM LEFT: 2nd Birthday Cake – Also Amazing
BOTTOM RIGHT: This year’s birthday cake – POOPIE!
I guess three years doesn’t mean much around here. BUT….Maybe I shouldn’t let mommy and daddy hear me complain since I was the only one of us four kids who even got a party this year. That’s right. No great parent of the year awards being handed out here. Oh well. My brothers and sister seemed to be happy with some kind of paper they got. I think it’s called money. I don’t know why. I got toys.
I said “WOW” with every present I opened. I didn’t even care what was inside.
See this mess. This is my Thomas The Train set I got last night. Guess what? It still looks like this because daddy can’t figure out how to put it together. Mommy asked if he read the directions. Why would a mommy ever ask a daddy something like that?
Gotta go! I don’t know when I’ll be back up here. Mommy gets her other foot cut and stitched up tomorrow. I think she’s going to be on those pills again. They make her either drowsy-loopy mommy or mean-impatient mommy.
Like….No joke. I really have the fever. Well, not anymore, but I did yesterday, so I missed school and played hooky again today. Talk about a great way to spend your birthday. No school and chilling with my shows and my pets.
Oh yeah….mommy and daddy were home too.
Anyway. I’M 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!
This is how it all began.
Then I decided not to be a dark and brooding artist. I came into the light.
Here’s me at my first birthday celebration.
Here I am at the second birthday. I look a lot cooler.
You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see tonight’s pictures.
Besides, I’m napping right now and cannot be disturbed.