Dudes need action! (Day: 40)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

After missing time for being sick……I had to go back to school today. We had pancakes for lunch so that was pretty cool. What was even cooler…..my mommy and daddy brought me and my wife to the park.

Here I am swinging with the ball and chain. We were having a good time….at first. Then she started talking about wanting new clothes and why don’t I have a job.

I was sinking deeper and deeper into darkness. I just wanted to throw a toy at myself….over and over.

For a little bit…I thought about jumping from the swing….just to make it all stop.

Then I remembered I was a dude. And dudes don’t drop out of swings just because girls are hassling them. Dudes act crazy and find excitement.

I can’t drive…..so I decided to go fast on the slide instead.

Look at me! No hands.

Oh poopy! No one is here to catch me!

I can’t go rock climbing, but this looks easy.

Hmmm…..Not too bad.

Should my foot be on this bar or the one under it?

Shitake mushroom! Mommy! Daddy! I need a little help here.

LESSON OF THE DAY:

Be the dude that you are and don’t swing with your wife. It’s not as much fun as it might seem.

Football, Tooth Care and My Wife is Back (Day: 35 & 36)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Last Thursday (Day 35) we played football at school.

Here I am, getting ready to kick the hiney out of this ball.

What the whatnots?!! Where’d that girl come from?

Why are girls always taking everything a guy has?

Little did she know…..I have two balls. I’ve still got this one.

Let’s try this again before she comes back.

FRIDAY IS A BLUR!

On Saturday: I taught my big brother synchronized dancing. He’s not that good.

Sunday was church.

I get to go in a room and play the whole time. I pulled the long straw with that agenda.

Check me out! I’m practicing good hygiene before we go.

When we got back I chased leaves.

I wasn’t successful, but it was fun.

This is me again, (Day 36) doing the hygiene thing.

I’m getting good, except I throw my toothbrush when I’m done.

In my defense, I’ve been playing football and it’s kinda like a touchdown using the “in your face” ball smack down.

After school, my wife came over.

I found out she’s going to be living with us for twelve hours each week. That’s seems like too much. Daddy told me that’s about as much time as most people see their wives. Sometimes more! How do dudes do it?

I’m hiding from her now. I hope she doesn’t find me.

Oh…..She found me and someone gave her the wife manual on wrestling moves.

We’re going to bed now. Separate beds of course.

I don’t need my wife all up in my face when I’m trying to rest.

I’m not a piece of meat.

Are you in the right circles? (Days: 33 & 34)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

DAY 33: Here I am working on my circle skills. This is not trickery courtesy of my mommy. That is my handiwork people.

No school on Tuesday cause the grownups around here had to use the schools to do something called voting. They had to go fill in someone else’s circles. Mommy and Daddy must have been embarrassed because they had to hid behind a curtain to do it. Then someone gave them a sticker when they were done. Sounds crazy to me.

I hide and do things. I don’t get stickers.

DAY 34: This was Wednesday. Today was picture day at my school. I don’t need to worry about my looks, so I decided to keep working on my circle skills.

Time for school.

Bringing my pad with me.

Oh shitake mushroom!

Who put that drop there?

It’s good.

I’m up.

I got this.

Okay. Can you put the camera down and help me down these steps? You know I can only keep my eyebrows up like this for so long.

Where The Wild Things Are (Halloween: Day 32)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I will tell you where they are. They are in my living room, dressed like lions and dancing in circles with girls dressed as fairy princess ballerina something or others.

They are scary and fierce, especially when they get on their laptops. They may be sending spam, chain letters or worse than that…….boring status updates on Facebook.

Sometimes, they take off their fur and hide among the regular folks.

“What? You’ve never seen the spoon on the nose trick? I’m not allowed to improvise?”

BE AWARE: DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS!

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

Posted by A Dose of Justice

And that’s just what I did for the first hour or so. I guess I just wasn’t in a partying mood.

But then, there was cake. That wife of mine is eyeing what I’ve got. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving her what’s on my plate. We’re married after all, not dating.

Speaking of cake……check this out.

TOP: 1st Birthday Cake –Amazing

BOTTOM LEFT: 2nd Birthday Cake – Also Amazing

BOTTOM RIGHT: This year’s birthday cake – POOPIE!

I guess three years doesn’t mean much around here. BUT….Maybe I shouldn’t let mommy and daddy hear me complain since I was the only one of us four kids who even got a party this year. That’s right. No great parent of the year awards being handed out here. Oh well. My brothers and sister seemed to be happy with some kind of paper they got. I think it’s called money. I don’t know why. I got toys.

I said “WOW” with every present I opened. I didn’t even care what was inside.

See this mess. This is my Thomas The Train set I got last night. Guess what? It still looks like this because daddy can’t figure out how to put it together. Mommy asked if he read the directions. Why would a mommy ever ask a daddy something like that?

Gotta go! I don’t know when I’ll be back up here. Mommy gets her other foot cut and stitched up tomorrow. I think she’s going to be on those pills again. They make her either drowsy-loopy mommy or mean-impatient mommy.

BE AWARE: I’ll be back!

I’ve got BIRTHDAY fever!

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Like….No joke. I really have the fever. Well, not anymore, but I did yesterday, so I missed school and played hooky again today. Talk about a great way to spend your birthday. No school and chilling with my shows and my pets.

Oh yeah….mommy and daddy were home too.

Anyway. I’M 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!

This is how it all began.

Then I decided not to be a dark and brooding artist. I came into the light.

Here’s me at my first birthday celebration.

Here I am at the second birthday. I look a lot cooler.

You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see tonight’s pictures.

Besides, I’m napping right now and cannot be disturbed.

BE AWARE: I age well.

Cheers At Church

Posted by A Dose of Justice

This is me…..today…..after church.

I went on stage with my class (2/3-year-olds) and we sang a song and held up signs. Okay….I didn’t hold up any of the signs and I didn’t sing the words, but I did do some other things.

What I did do:

I stood up on stage with my class. No one held me or my hand.
I didn’t get scared with everyone watching me.
I didn’t cry when the kid beside me started to wail.
I didn’t sing the words, but I moved my lips. I think that’s what most people do on stage.