Drinking On The Job: It happens!

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Getting ready for the day.

Nothing beats a good koozie to keep your juice nice and chill.

That looks about right.

I don’t need any unnecessary interruptions or lawsuits.

OMG! What the hoobastank!

I leave for five seconds and some doo doo head tries to brick up my beverage.

I won’t stand for this.

I’m calling the home office.

Someone is going down for this incompetence.

Can you hear the pain and suffering my drink went through?

Can you?

The therapy for exacerbating the claustrophobia alone….. will bankrupt you.

Now you hold on one doggone minute.

I DO NOT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!!!

Do you hear that?

I’m drinking just fine. No problems at all.

(burp)

Wow! That was a good one. I’m ready for another.

Hey. What’s this?

I’ve seen models use these with powdered sugar on glass.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Now that right there hits the spot.

Did you get all that Mr. Home Office.

I’m fired?

Well. You can kiss my hiney.

Actually (hiccup), I’m using it now to keep balance.

You’re just gonna have to wait in line (hiccup) for kissing.

Too much fighting. I need another drink.

Not feeling good.

Can someone get me down?

Mommy? Daddy? I need a mouth diaper.

Working Man Wednesday (PreK Day 7)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

The day started off in the usual way.

I was working on my going to school strut.

I’ve got a spring in my step and a groove in my move.

Here’s my cubby at school. Don’t be jealous!

THEN the work began.

My mommy picked me up at school and caught me in the kitchen working.

They called it occupational therapy. Then someone whispered something about collating papers tomorrow and calling it physical therapy.

Do I need to start a union?

I guess mommy thought working was a good idea.

She said I had to hold these cushions up with my back until she was

done washing the covers.

Now she’s making me go up the stairs to my room…..to take a nap.

“Hello lady, I need a little help here!”

Before I went to bed, I had to work on my farm magnets.

Then…….I had to work on covering up my dignity with my flashlight.

I’ve got a diaper on now, so it’s all good.

No napping until I do my “monsters in the closet” checking job.

I think my flashlight is dying.

Oh well. I guess I have to work for batteries now.

Brought A Girl Home: Preschool (Day 5)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

The day started off with me styling for school and turned into a DATE!

A play date.

Okay. I didn’t really bring a girl home.

She’s my wife. (Did we go to Vegas? I think I got married!)

She came to visit. We don’t live together, but we go to school together.

I think that’s plenty. You dudes know what I mean.

Here I am having flashbacks of her driving that bus again and taking my balls.

No respect!

Not again! I was quick to get my ball back this time.

I told her I had to go do important stuff.

She would have to stay home and take care of the animals.

My important stuff was basketball. Shhhh! Don’t tell.

Ready for the shot!

It’s up!

It’s in.

UHOH……I can feel her eyes on me.

I think I’m busted.

She was pretty mad. She threw the dog and left me.

I did what most guys do when their girl leaves them.

I sat down with some snacks and watched TV.

I hope she didn’t do anything crazy when she left.

Mom said to watch out for girls who wear animal prints.

Collect call from where? Jail?

I’m pretty sure my mommy and daddy wouldn’t want me talking to someone in jail.

If you want something done right, then do it yourself.

Posted by A Dose of Justice

It’s “The Mom” here. The surgical supplies are in for Justice.

We figured it would be cheaper to take care of it ourselves. Lucky kid gets to have a Flexible Laryngoscopy, Bilateral Myringotomy w/Tubes, Tonsillectomy and an Adenoidectomy after we get back from vacation at the end of this month.

I hope my Surgery For Dummies book comes in on time.

Wordless Wednesday: Serving up some Justice.

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I’ve got your “Dark Passenger” Dexter Morgan.

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Rumor has it, one of my mommy’s favorite shows (Dexter) might be ending. Well…..I’m not sure why it’s okay to like someone who does bad things, but he doesn’t have the market on darkness or codes.

I have my own “Dark Passenger” that makes me go a bit mad. If someone eats all my Cheetos, changes my favorite channel, or tells me to go to bed…….well….I’m just saying……things can get ugly. But it’s because of important stuff like I just said, so I have a code too.

AND…..Unlike Dexter, I didn’t muck things up by getting married and having a kid. Well, maybe I did get married that one time (Click here for evidence of my possible nuptials.) Plus, he thinks he’s slick because he’s a blood splatter guy at the police department. BUT….I’m as adorable as heck. Who would ever suspect me?

CHECK OUT MY AUDITION REEL:

“Do I need a warning label or what?

You knew I’d snap if you touched my snacks.”

”Little pieces? I’m seeing why that makes sense now.”

“Holy macaroni. I hope that was a postmortem spasm.”

“Okay. I’m not allowed to use sharp objects….so….I’ll just have to keep patting him down until all the air comes out. Then he’ll fit.”

“Nothing to see here. I’m just taking the trash to the dumpster.”

Anyway…..If you’re listening Showtime, I think you could definitely replace Dexter with a new show. You should call it Justice or Just-Ice. Think about it. My agent’s name is Mommy. She’ll be waiting for your call.

Wordless Wednesday: Do I have something in my teeth?

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Dream or Nightmare?

Posted by A Dose of Justice

My mommy decided to record me dreaming last night. She was right outside my door and I didn’t even know it. Now she is using my blog to post my dream with the translation. One day……I will get my privacy!