Don’t hate the playa!

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

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And that’s just what I did for the first hour or so. I guess I just wasn’t in a partying mood.

BD1

But then, there was cake. That wife of mine is eyeing what I’ve got. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving her what’s on my plate. We’re married after all, not dating.

BD3

Speaking of cake……check this out.

2013-10-23 3rd Birthday and Day After

TOP: 1st Birthday Cake –Amazing

BOTTOM LEFT: 2nd Birthday Cake – Also Amazing

BOTTOM RIGHT: This year’s birthday cake – POOPIE!

I guess three years doesn’t mean much around here. BUT….Maybe I shouldn’t let mommy and daddy hear me complain since I was the only one of us four kids who even got a party this year. That’s right. No great parent of the year awards being handed out here. Oh well. My brothers and sister seemed to be happy with some kind of paper they got. I think it’s called money. I don’t know why. I got toys.

I said “WOW” with every present I opened. I didn’t even care what was inside.

BD4

See this mess. This is my Thomas The Train set I got last night. Guess what? It still looks like this because daddy can’t figure out how to put it together. Mommy asked if he read the directions. Why would a mommy ever ask a daddy something like that?

BD5

Gotta go! I don’t know when I’ll be back up here. Mommy gets her other foot cut and stitched up tomorrow. I think she’s going to be on those pills again. They make her either drowsy-loopy mommy or mean-impatient mommy.

BE AWARE: I’ll be back!

Cheers At Church

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This is me…..today…..after church.

Church

I went on stage with my class (2/3-year-olds) and we sang a song and held up signs. Okay….I didn’t hold up any of the signs and I didn’t sing the words, but I did do some other things.

What I did do:

  • I stood up on stage with my class. No one held me or my hand.
  • I didn’t get scared with everyone watching me.
  • I didn’t cry when the kid beside me started to wail.
  • I didn’t sing the words, but I moved my lips. I think that’s what most people do on stage.

 

In the end…..everyone cheered and clapped.  

 

BE AWARE: I am a performer. BUT….You probably knew that.

 

Afterschool: Doing Dude Stuff. (Day 19)

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Just like a regular dude:

I hang with my bro and play video games.

No cutesy comments from mommy today either. NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

Just like a regular dude……..I agree with brothers before mothers.

Or something like that. Bro Collage

Be Aware: I’m a regular dude (PreK Day:16)

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Just like a regular dude:

I like to rock out on instruments.

And……Just like a regular dude, I think I sound better than I really do.

Day 16 with Snake 015

Just like a regular dude:

I sometimes play with tools.

And…….Just like a regular dude, I sometimes put my fingers where they don’t belong.

Day 16 with Snake 007

I know what I’m doing. (PreK: Day 8)

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We’re leaving.

I’m ready. Are you?

Day 8-1

I know.

We’re going outside. DUH!!!

Day 8-2

How did you get in front of me like that?

That’s kind of creepy.

Day8-3

Okay. Well…..I’ve got my ride.

Can I get a boost up?

Day 8-4

MY SCHOOL DAY: playing, eating, private stuff, speech, occupational therapy

SPEECH: I signed the word more and said the word “pop” several times when playing with bubbles today. That bubble play with mommy is paying off.

AND NOW…….I’M READY FOR BED!!!!!

Day 8-5

Brought A Girl Home: Preschool (Day 5)

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The day started off with me styling for school and turned into a DATE!

A play date. 

Day 5

Okay. I didn’t really bring a girl home.

She’s my wife. (Did we go to Vegas? I think I got married!)

She came to visit. We don’t live together, but we go to school together.

I think that’s plenty. You dudes know what I mean.

Here I am having flashbacks of her driving that bus again and taking my balls.

No respect!

Bus and ball

Not again! I was quick to get my ball back this time.

got my ball back

I told her I had to go do important stuff.

She would have to stay home and take care of the animals.

brought girl home

My important stuff was basketball. Shhhh! Don’t tell.

Steal from imaginary player

Ready for the shot!

1 Ready for shot

It’s up!

2 it's up

It’s in.

3 it is in

UHOH……I can feel her eyes on me.

I think I’m busted.

Busted

She was pretty mad. She threw the dog and left me.

left me

I did what most guys do when their girl leaves them.

I sat down with some snacks and watched TV.

watching tv

I hope she didn’t do anything crazy when she left.

Mom said to watch out for girls who wear animal prints.

behind bars

Collect call from where? Jail?

I’m pretty sure my mommy and daddy wouldn’t want me talking to someone in jail.

Justice Phone Call 002

 

 

Preschool: Day 2

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This was actually yesterday, but my mom is getting kind of up there in age, so it’s taking her a bit of time to get on the ball. Plus, she’s posting this late because my sister tried to grab all my thunder. She had a softball incident today and broke her finger. I break stuff all the time and keep moving on in life. I break toys, cups and even wind. You don’t see me whining about it. GIRLS! They just want all the attention.

(Anyway: Let’s get back to my day.)

Holy macaroni! This backpack is the size of me if I was doubled over.

Justice 2nd Day School 001

Seriously guys. You couldn’t have found a bigger backpack for me?

I mean really. It only comes up to my waist.

Justice 2nd Day School 003

Don’t worry.

I’ll suck it up because I’m a machine.

Justice 2nd Day School 005

Oh my gosh sister!

Do you ever let me have a moment to myself?

How much attention do you need? Out of my shot!

Justice 2nd Day School 009

I’ll have to give her this or she will never leave me alone.

 I bet this was the moment she started planning her finger break thingy.

Just can’t let me shine. She had to put powder on it.

Justice 2nd Day School 011

Someone’s Getting Schooled! (Day: 1)

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So my mommy has this idea about taking a picture of me every single day of my school life and posting it here. We’ll see if she can follow through.

If she does (pick one):

  • Sorry!
  • Glad you dig me.

If she doesn’t (pick one):

  • Lucky you.
  • I’ll send you a sympathy card.

My first day of preschool was yesterday. I missed the first week because I’m too cool for school and I wanted to be fashionably late. OR…..It was because I had my tonsils out and other stuff. I like the first reason better.

Justice 1st Day School

I have no clue my parents are getting ready to abandon me and leave me in the hands of total strangers. It’s just another photo op for me.

I’ve got your “Dark Passenger” Dexter Morgan.

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Rumor has it, one of my mommy’s favorite shows (Dexter) might be ending. Well…..I’m not sure why it’s okay to like someone who does bad things, but he doesn’t have the market on darkness or codes.

I have my own “Dark Passenger” that makes me go a bit mad. If someone eats all my Cheetos, changes my favorite channel, or tells me to go to bed…….well….I’m just saying……things can get ugly. But it’s because of important stuff like I just said, so I have a code too.

AND…..Unlike Dexter, I didn’t muck things up by getting married and having a kid. Well, maybe I did get married that one time (Click here for evidence of my possible nuptials.) Plus, he thinks he’s slick because he’s a blood splatter guy at the police department. BUT….I’m as adorable as heck. Who would ever suspect me?

CHECK OUT MY AUDITION REEL:

He's dead

“Do I need a warning label or what?

You knew I’d snap if you touched my snacks.”

Looks good

”Little pieces? I’m seeing why that makes sense now.”

Out of Box

“Holy macaroni. I hope that was a postmortem spasm.”

Trying to Pack it down

“Okay. I’m not allowed to use sharp objects….so….I’ll just have to keep patting him down until all the air comes out. Then he’ll fit.”

You aint see nothing

“Nothing to see here. I’m just taking the trash to the dumpster.”

Anyway…..If you’re listening Showtime, I think you could definitely replace Dexter with a new show. You should call it Justice or Just-Ice. Think about it. My agent’s name is Mommy. She’ll be waiting for your call.