It happened last night.

(For those who need RED print translated: “Something so tragic happened last night …. I can’t even talk about it )

(“Uh … Who told you to take the camera off me? I’m telling a story here.”)

(“As I was saying … It’s very emotional.”)

(“It started off with Jennie and her Franks. Not these … so don’t try to find this one to do something bad like suffocate it in a blanket and call it dinner for your kid.”)

So….. I was enjoying my time with Frank and then it wasn’t fun anymore. Frank went too far and it was hard to breathe. I started to choke. Mommy tried to help me, but she just wasn’t getting the job done.

First off, don’t ever blame the kid with a disability …. for anything …. ever. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. I’m innocent! Second, If anyone needs to go to save money in this house ….. it ain’t me.

It’s mommy’s fault because she makes my food at the right temperature and doesn’t give me ketchup. All those chemicals are bad for me. Boy….Was she off base? It’s like giving me matches, but not the paper.

It’s Daddy’s fault for not being home and making my lunch. He makes food so hot, I have to take a million tiny slow bites so my mouth doesn’t melt. And …. He gives me so much ketchup, it looks like a crime scene, but it makes the food slide down my throat.

But mostly it’s Daddy’s fault since Mommy always says she’s always right.

And there’s no way they’ll let me enter any hotdog eating contests. My life is over.

Stuffing and Stuff

Posted by A Dose of Justice

I know you missed me. I’m sorry.

We took a break for the stuffy-stuff holidays. You know….the day to stuff your face and then all the stuff that comes after you stuff your face to celebrate getting stuff. And I’m really scared of Fridays now. At least one of them. I didn’t know we had a crazy shopper day. Some traditions are really silly. Mommy and daddy kept me home safe.

Well….You didn’t miss too much.

Here I am taking a pre-nap before I eat my Thanksgiving meal. It must have helped because I was moving fire after I ate. I think mommy called it “hell on wheels”. Whatever!

Then I went outside to play with my shadow.

Then I talked to a tree.

Then I played football with my brother. I let him think he tackled me.

Moving on to some Christmas decorating. I’m helping my sister with the tree. See me making that wood garland dance? I should be a snake charmer.

Okay……Maybe I’m not exactly helping her.

Yeah….I didn’t like where she put that.

Oh my goodness. Are you seeing these powers?

Look at that throw. Look at the garland standing up in the air. I really need to go to Vegas and have my own show.

Looks like it’s back to the business of decorating. She’s so serious.

Wait! Is she judging me? I can feel her eyes on me. Clearly she’s close-minded. Garland can go vertical.

Look at that. Almost perfect.

Oh good. There’s more. I don’t want this spot to look bare.

So……Sorry if you missed me. I’m still in school. I don’t see myself dropping out yet. I still eat, drink, sleep, poop and wreak havoc on my family. But….you might not be seeing my handsome face every day or even every other day. Times are getting crazy and between you and me…I think my mommy is becoming a slacker. Seriously….She stays home….How busy can she be?

Football, Tooth Care and My Wife is Back (Day: 35 & 36)

Posted by A Dose of Justice

Last Thursday (Day 35) we played football at school.

Here I am, getting ready to kick the hiney out of this ball.

What the whatnots?!! Where’d that girl come from?

Why are girls always taking everything a guy has?

Little did she know…..I have two balls. I’ve still got this one.

Let’s try this again before she comes back.

FRIDAY IS A BLUR!

On Saturday: I taught my big brother synchronized dancing. He’s not that good.

Sunday was church.

I get to go in a room and play the whole time. I pulled the long straw with that agenda.

Check me out! I’m practicing good hygiene before we go.

When we got back I chased leaves.

I wasn’t successful, but it was fun.

This is me again, (Day 36) doing the hygiene thing.

I’m getting good, except I throw my toothbrush when I’m done.

In my defense, I’ve been playing football and it’s kinda like a touchdown using the “in your face” ball smack down.

After school, my wife came over.

I found out she’s going to be living with us for twelve hours each week. That’s seems like too much. Daddy told me that’s about as much time as most people see their wives. Sometimes more! How do dudes do it?