When your child asks, what do you say?
“You’re only talking about the bees ‘cause the bird stuff is too cute?
It’s like going potty, but not really? The hospital?”
“You did what? And I come out of…….
STOP! STOP TALKING MOMMY!!!!!!!!”
Well…..You LIE!!!!!
Now let me get back to my business.
This chair is really cold and breezy.
Wait!
You want me to do what? Without a diaper?
I got the ball.
It’s mine.
I’m going for the pass.
And it’s up.
Another sweet catch.
Touchdown!
The big game made me tired.
It’s hard being an athletic superstar.
But when you are…..
You can afford to buy big game, like elephants
…..and take naps with them.
Siegfried and Roy? Whatever!
Seriously?
It’s time for school again.
I thought that break thing was permanent.
Uh mommy……I really think this tire is going to be lonely if I leave.
What? You don’t care?
Just give me a minute mommy. I need time with my tire.
Dear God, up in the sky…..my mommy doesn’t understand. Please give her the brains she needs. Also…..can you make sure my tire is safe during this cold time and is not too lonely when I am being made to go to school? Maybe you could do something, like make it super cold tomorrow so school is closed and I don’t have to leave my tire again. Just think about it. I know you are busy trying to fix my brothers and sister, but if you have time……. And…..don’t forget my mommy’s brains. I heard she lost her mind. That’s the word around the house. Please help with that too. Thanks God.
AMEN……
I’m ready, but I’m not happy.
And…..Are you sure you’re taking me straight to school? My left hand is tucked into my coat again. You aren’t going to take me to the corner to get money again………are you?
Be honest mommy. I might need to pray again.
(UPDATE: Thanks for making it super cold. School is closed tomorrow.)
A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom) 