What is that? Who is here? What do I see?
It’s a strange little boy looking back at me.
Are those pants? Are those legs? Is it a suit?
How do you potty? How do you toot?
You frighten me with your strange lack of parts.
I can’t trust a dude who doesn’t fart.
Sammy: I’ve been thrown and I can’t get up.
I’m not leaving this tree. That kid’s too rough.
A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom) 
That Elf On A Shelf got what he had coming to him.
I agree.
The Elf, Justice I am with you. Don’t trust the Elf.
Anyone who wears hats in the house is up to no good.