TODAY was Grandparent’s Day at my school. All the old folks got to come in this morning and eat breakfast with us and take pictures. I think it’s fun for them because they are retired and bored.
My “genetic” grandparents were all unavailable. I guess they have a busy retirement. I decided to adopt a grandma. Who says you can’t pick your family? Actually……A lot of people say that, but I did, because I’m awesome.
Mommy! Look! I’m pretending to be you when you were on those angry-loopy pills.
“I am a mommy zombie. I will destroy you.”
Okay. Make sure I don’t fall. I know how to call social services.
Daddy. You can let go now.
We’ve been doing this for a few weeks now.
I guess mommy and daddy hung around since they had me in their 40’s. They could pass as grandparents.
And what is this? I get a lousy banana peel.
Well, it doesn’t taste like chicken.
I’m hiding it in this cup.
My adopted grandma gave me money.
Hmmm……It looks like the real thing.
Let me find some ladies so I can flash my money around.
What did daddy tell me about wasting money on the ladies?
Get a haircut so you don’t look like Eddie Munster?
No. That’s not it, but that’s a good idea. Oh yeah……Don’t!
Grandma. I’m going to use the money to show you a magic trick instead.
Okay. Now you see it and now you don’t.
Pretty impressive right?
I bet you wanna know how I did that trick.
(“Daddy better pick that up before they figure me out.”)
Grandma was so impressed, she’s letting me play before school starts.
So you think an introduction is in order?
Grandma. It’s not real. I think I’m safe from being stung.
Oh no! We’ve been discovered.
That mommy is everywhere grandma. I can’t get anything by her.
Is it in the mommy manual to look so serious when kids just wanna have fun?
I’m pretty sure that is in the Mommy Manual.
You must have had a lot of people lining up to have the honour of being your pretend grandparent. The interviewing process must have been brutal. Any tips for next year’s candidate?
I think it was a scene like Black Friday at any Wal-Mart.